Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?

Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

The problem with sex in the movies is, that the popcorn usually spills.

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals.”

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I want patience – AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

A day for firm decisions! Or is it?

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

Bombs don’t kill people, explosions kill people.

Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.

Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

Every organisation is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting.